We live in an unfair world and that’s reality. There is no doubt a lot of people are cruel no complete control over them. It’s frustrating and draining our positive energy. Instead of living a comfortable life, we are displeased with a persons or situations. There is no reason to be hopeless but I know it’s a chance to alter something and that’s our emotion.
If we become frustrated our mood will change. Our heart beats faster, our vision will be clouded by anger, we start shouting, some get nervous and furious and most of the time we go into beast-mode.
The good thing is, we can control our emotions. Start changing your perspective by being fair at least in your own virtual supreme court where you are the virtual judge. People enjoy judging and that’s a bad thing.
We are blinded we are perfect and always on the right side. The moment we are displeased or angered, we lose grip of our positive spirit and we negatively taint our behavior.
Control displeasure by relaxing. Comfort yourself by zooming out of the picture instead of rushing in to the situation and attacking every person on your way. Always look on the bright side. Position yourself to understand the situation and be very easy on your words when you confront people.
Sometimes, shutting our mouth will save us from disgrace. You know like holding a rifle, cease fire? You’re correct, I didn’t say mothers carry their built-in machine gun.
Relax and loosen up so your displeasure will disperse.
Control displeasure by awareness. Arguing with your partner, wife, husband or whoever that is – always be aware of the people around you, your surroundings and your location. Know your place. A school, church or in a meeting is of course not the best place to discuss with strong words and loud voice.
Be aware of your facial reaction and gestures. We are by nature interpreting other people by their movement, gestures and face. You can control yourself and be aware and considerate to other people. Be aware and don’t provoke anyone.
Control displeasure by showing respect. Try putting yourself in their shoes as they say it. Respect and appreciate them even if you don’t feel good about it. It’s easy to get mad but it’s hard to mend broken relationships. Show your kindness even if your pinned.
Control displeasure by listening. This is two side, listen to yourself and listen to whoever you are arguing with. You will look wiser if you listen more and talk less. I am not saying less talk less mistake. I’m pointing out to listen more so you can learn more of what should happen in any situation.
Who knows at this point if your inner self is already telling you what to do but you can’t because you won’t listen to yourself.
In our subdivision, I’m part of the grievance committee as a volunteer. I observed that most complainants are furious and will demand respect from our neighbors. They insist they are right from the beginning up to end. Complainants will insist what they want in a wrong manner. Just so you know, most of the complainants are wrong from my point of view because they don’t respect other people.
My part is to mediate but with their displeasure and anger, they lose it and don’t respect me – sometimes, they even scold me and the respondent. Most complainants fail to listen if we set up a dialog and don’t look into solutions but they are locked up into problems.
There was a time a neighbor is complaining about the ongoing construction from the other house. She was mad and feels like immortal! Listening to her complains, I told her to calm down and reconsider her plans of filling a case.
I advised her to negotiate peacefully and if she allows her displeasure to control her, she will lose in local court if escalated. She didn’t listen and keep demanding to stop the construction because of noise, dust and more complains. Obviously, they are renovating and the construction is ongoing. Their neighbor cant use silencers on hammers, drills and other tools.
After few months, I learned she lost the case. She wasted her money, time and effort. The respondent was willing to settle it peacefully but the complainant rejects it. She was wrong in the first place. If only she controlled her displeasure the problem is settled amicably.
If you can’t stop or at least minimize your anger, you might win the case or issue, but you will lose and shame yourself in the process.
Show some respect and little bit of love because that’s how problems are solved.
Remember to relax, be aware, respect and listen so you can at least control your displeasure.
I am aware we are all a work-in-progress. Controlling people other than ourselves is not the best option.
Don’t enforce your will to them and you can’t choose their words you only want to hear.
Start controlling your displeasure or anger before it controls you.