Secrets of Absorbing Criticism
Most Filipinos are very opinionated. We were raised up to voice out what we think, feel and literally everything. Sensible or not, we still enjoy sharing our solid ideas to the point where criticism and analysis is already a habit.
I am aware that every after fight of PacMan, we instantly become boxing analysts. After NBA games or championship or any news that will trend on both traditional and social media – we become instant analysts. We reason like a critical thinker or maybe a master of everything.
I know you are familiar with constructive criticism. They say its criticizing and encouraging a person at the same time. There is also destructive criticism that will destroy, discourage and demoralize you.
I trust every criticism and statement addressed to you is always neutral.
Whatever they say about you constructive or destructive criticism is still impartial.
It’s up to you how you absorb it – don’t blame others.
Your mind is like a glass of water, not every liquid poured into it is drinkable. Be smart if you throw away or drink it. That liquid is the criticism addressed to you and you must decide what to do.
Do you hate or love criticism?
Let me share to you some of my secrets of absorbing criticism.
- Keep a positive mindset
Your mind and heart is a container. Your ears, eyes and all of your senses are converters! Whatever you hear, feel and see – convert that so your mind and heart will absorb it as a positive feed. Look around you, if you keep magnifying negative things then you absorb all the negative vibes. I’m not saying you ignore warnings or negative signs but accept that you are responsible on how information will go through you.Your partner maybe cursing a lot or always discourages you. He keeps telling you are fat. Criticizes your ways, style and everything about you. Process those negative information and see the good side. Don’t use their manner of criticizing you as your basis of who you are.
Keep your mindset clean and discard any bad words hurting you. You can’t blame all the people around you with what you feel. You are in charge of yourself and defend your soul.
Your boss said you are slow and unreliable? Politely say you’re building up your momentum and it’s not done yet. Or you can tell him, “Boss, slowly but surely – relax!”. Learn to ride every word coming into your mind as a positive feedback. Start encouraging yourself.
- Understand the message
For every criticism, look for the message that is being imparted or impressed to you. Did you know if a person will hurt you with sharp words and you keep a positive mindset, you will see a lesson behind that striking criticism? It takes years of practice and tears but you will be victorious for sure. Don’t take it as a personal attack. Every criticism is designed to convey a message that will smooth out our character. Don’t run away from that person but pickup what you need to learn and set a good distance to avoid hurting yourself.
- Accept that nobody is perfect
If you are facing a hard criticism, don’t attack that person. Just remind yourself that nobody is perfect. Be happy if you receive a criticism from a qualified person and be careful if it’s coming from a disqualified person.
We need other people’s comment, feedback, criticism to improve something in our life. Those reactions from others should fuel us to step forward and keep moving upward. Opinions about us from other people may be true or false. If you know this fact, you will find it easy to absorb criticism positively.
- Stay confident because you’re a work-in-progress or WIP
We are not finished yet. If we hear criticism in whatever form, it means there is still room for improvement. That’s a confirmation our ceiling is high and our potential is unlimited. I believe we are under training to become a better us. Criticism in the work place, home, church, community and everywhere cannot be avoided but can be managed. Understand that your family, friends or anyone will criticize you at any point. Again, remind yourself you are under construction so absorb criticism with self-confidence not self-pity.
The next time you hear a critic’s statement to you, smile and maybe apply some “secrets” I revealed.
Actually, they are not basically secret but I just thought of sharing it to you on how I tackle criticism. Difficult at first and harsh words will discourage us for sure. But I say we can survive and learn from it.
There are positive people you can see around you and can handle criticism easily.
Open your eyes and study strategies you can borrow from people everywhere.
Absorb the positive, reject the negative.