7 Ways to Stop Trying to Control People
Controlling other people is a waste of time.
The power to control people is addictive and obsessive. Controlling others will start from a simple desire to become a mini god. We fall into a trap to control everything and everyone around us. From the way others think, talk, move – sometimes we want to be the master and the rest is just a puppet.
A controlling person is dominant by nature. He thinks of himself as superior to anyone and does not trust people around him. This person will dominate and criticize to show how tough he is. In reality, a controlling person is weak and hides their imperfection by magnifying mistakes of other people. It is like a defense mechanism where their failures are covered by their strong personality and then the hot seat is given to someone else.
Controlling others not only waste your time but your energy and life.
Allow people or your partner to operate or serve their purpose and stop playing god. You are only upsetting or frustrating yourself if you try to be aggressive, intimidating and commanding all the time.
- Learn to trust others
Start by trusting other people regardless of their past, present or future experiences. If you sow trust to your partner, friend, officemate or coworker then you will reap better results like building up their confidence. Keep the faith that your invested trust in them will benefit you over time. Trust is a key ingredient in a positive relationship. Sometimes, we need opportunities and trust to show how awesome we are. Trusting them to do their part will keep you away from controlling people.
- Manage your expectations
Setting up a high standard for other people is silly. Even if you can deliver high standards and quality results, don’t expect too much that other people can deliver it like you do. Remember, we are all unique and we are molded differently so better manage your expectations.
- Be humble and supportive
Don’t think of yourself bigger than who you really are. Keep your feet on the ground and keep it low. In this way, you are preventing your pride to take over people – be very careful of this. Appreciate your partner more and show some support instead of controlling them. Your simple support will keep them moving forward in their journey – make it constructive as possible. Choose positive words when talking to others.
- Have an open mind
Realize that anything can happen so keep your options open. People around you think and work in a different strategy and style depending on the setting. Be open and don’t stick to your own ways and methods.
- Don’t micromanage
Allow your partner to discover and execute his plans and tactic. You can’t help other people by hindering their creativity. Get out of the way and let them learn even if it’s easy or hard. You may have the idea and possible solution but if you micromanage you are interfering their progress.
- Check your motives
Are you trying to impress others by controlling submissive people and feeding your ego? Ask yourself the reasons why you are their leader in your office or company. Always check your motive before jumping in and controlling everyone. This is not always about you so be kind and calm your ego.
- Let go and let God
Don’t be afraid to let go and let God do the controlling. He is the only master here so always remind yourself too much commanding or bullying is dangerous. Letting others do it keeps stress away from you. You are saving yourself pain and troubles. Let other people figure out how problems are solved but keep a good distance to guide them and show your support. God is in control, not us.
We can’t afford to waste our own time by focusing on others.
I know you’ve heard about the saying: “Mind your own business.”
To stop trying to control people we must remind ourselves we are all work-in-progress.
Desiring too much control on people is not healthy. It is not always your way, your voice and your will.